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Self-Care Sunday- Banish Negative Self Talk

April 21, 2013

How is everyone doing with their mind-body-spirit emphasis on self-care? I’m happy to report I added 16 miles to my running kicks this week, including one 5K race and one ‘Run for Boston’, an informal gathering in Austin. Getting closer to that 20 mile per week goal! Do you have hobbies or good habits that you’ve let fall to the wayside? Join me as I try to reestablish one important piece of my own self-care!

Negative Self-Talk

This week, I challenge each of you to examine your own negative self-talk. Practice noticing and observing…without judgment. Forget your lunch? “Oh, I forgot my lunch” instead of “Gosh, I’m such an idiot!” Skip your daily self-care? “I’ll try again tomorrow” instead of “I can’t even do this right!” React to your child’s negative behaviors instead pulling out all your therapeutic parenting tricks? Try “I’m a good mom- parenting trauma is hard” instead of “I’m a terrible mom.”

There is absolutely no purpose to negative self-talk. It isn’t motivating. It doesn’t keep you from making the same mistake again. It simply eats away at our soul, poisoning our minds. Would you motivate your child by exclaiming “You idiot! What’s wrong with you?!” Of course not! So why would we motivate ourselves that way?

I thought this might be both an easy and a hard self-care goal. Easy because there isn’t really any time commitment involved. Hard because we ALL engage in negative self-talk, probably more than we even realize. And habits are hard to break. Take the first step by just noticing the negative self-talk. Be kind to yourself. You’re listening.



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Robyn Gobbel, LCSW is a child and family therapist in Austin, Texas specializing in adoption, trauma, and attachment counseling. She is the founder of the Central Texas Attachment & Trauma Center.

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